Ankylosing Spondylitis (Bad) – Starch-Free Diet (Good)

It was New Year’s Eve, and the family was gleefully unpacking a Chinese takeout feast that Mom and Dad had generously ordered for our family gathering of 14 individuals (children, grandchildren, etc.). On top of that, the house smelled like freshly made oliebollen (a traditional Dutch New Year’s Eve treat similar to a deep-fried donut), the treat every person in the house was already eager to indulge in for dessert. The celebration centered around food. The smells, the sounds, the people – all were a nostalgic reminder of many New Year’s Eve’s past, a night we all enjoyed and looked forward to. 

I listened to all the excitement upstairs as I stood by the basement stove, preparing my starch-free dinner. I am ashamed to admit I was sulking and feeling bad for myself. I felt ostracized, alone, forgotten, and sad. I finished preparing my plate of food (which, if I may say so myself, looked pretty fantastic, loaded with smoked cheese, bacon, a fried egg, creamy fennel coleslaw, pomegranate, pomelo, and a sweet treat for dessert) and headed upstairs to join the party.

I have replayed that NYE scene in my mind over and over. When I started the starch-free elimination diet, that feeling of bitterness and pity for myself was more common – giving up foods I loved was not easy, especially in social situations! I reminded myself that five years ago, when I was diagnosed with Ankylosing Spondylitis, a lot changed. 

Very shortly after my diagnosis, I started diet modifications. While challenging at first, I now genuinely enjoy the foods I eat. Not only is my starch-free diet nourishing and healing, but it truly is also delicious. However, anyone who has experienced life on a restricted diet can probably tell you that there are still moments of sadness and feelings of loss. 

Over the last five years, I have learned to grieve my diagnosis. While I had been living with debilitating pain for many years, the diagnosis was confirmation of the fact that my body was no longer healthy. The loss of something good is necessary to grieve.

Even now, 5 years into the starch-free diet, I sometimes have to allow myself the freedom to grieve what was lost on the day of my diagnosis. But, more importantly, I need to remind myself that the starch-free diet has been a blessing, not a curse, in my story. And then, I need to choose gratitude because how fortunate am I to enjoy a nearly pain-free life, without medication, despite being diagnosed with a debilitating disease?!

PS. I felt fantastic after my meal (unlike others with whom I shared the dinner table) and I still had a wonderful evening, celebrating the start of 2025!